READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
