Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Randomize
