where am i from again
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
