They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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