just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
