Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
