New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
