How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
