So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
