Welp...herpes.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
