My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
