john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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