He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
