Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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