Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
