"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
