I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
