Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
