Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
