But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
