I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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