I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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