she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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