i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I have grass duct taped all over my body
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
