can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
