You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
