can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
