i would punch a child for taco bell
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
