I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
