I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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