we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize