out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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