the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
