the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
