do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Shame - the story of my life.
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