U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
