No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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