Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
