420 ftw
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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