Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
