seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
