She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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