Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
