I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
