An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
