I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
