If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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