if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
