I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
