But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
